Phil Laak’s girlfriend is hungry. The hour creeps towards midnight, and we’re near Wall Street, a precinct of Manhattan that’s particularly dead at this time. But the Unabomber and his Unabombshell – Hollywood actress turned poker phenomenon Jennifer Tilly – have just flown into town from Los Angeles, and she wants to eat. We’re trudging through night-chilled streets around their hotel, getting turned away from one light-dimming restaurant after another. Finally, she agrees to make do in an oversized 24-hour grocery store with a giant steam table full of food that might have been fresh 12 hours ago.

Ever the trouper, Jen puts together a platter of the least suspicious-looking offerings.