After eight long months of touring the country, relieving the nation of their clothes and cash playing heads-up poker, Guerrilla Poker is taking a well-earned rest. It’ll be back in the future but until then we’re in the picturesque city of Oxford, mixing it with American tourists and England’s smartest students.

And making his Guerrilla debut is TV and radio presenter Richard Orford. He gets off to an inauspicious start against teacher-turned-gardener Matt, when he gets dealt 9-2 off-suit in successive hands. As the game progresses his cards show little improvement, so as soon as he gets a playable hand, he wastes no time in going all-in. The plan goes well, until his two-pair gets tripped up by Matt’s set of Fives on ye olde river.

Next up is busker Sam, who we play for the contents of his guitar case. Taking the game and his coppers, Richard feels bad.

So he challenges Sam to play for his money back or the tambourine gets it. The city of Oxford unanimously cheers as Sam fails to hit y cards. Nonetheless, Richard’s a fair man nd offers a final rematch to play for Joe’s am’s busking partner) guitar. Quickly alising that Sam’s poker skills are no match for his already risible vocal talent, Joe takes off before the game’s even finished.

Poker gods

Shortly after, Yassin invites Richard to perch with him outside the church. Torn between being sacrilegious and playing poker, naturally the game wins. Which is more than Richard does. Miraculously staying alive longer than his turkey cards justify, he suffers his second bad beat of the day when his trips are taken down by Yassin’s flush on the river.

On tilt, Richard has no qualms taking on Big Issue seller Steve. The poor homeless man bets ‘10 bob’ and makes some good folds. It’s testament to Richard’s niceness when he patiently takes career advice from the homeless Steve, who proffers much criticism on his lack of recent TV exposure. Karma is restored when Richard’s bullets stand up to take the game.

Next up, a familiar figure stops us. It’s none other than Top Gear’s Jeremy Clarkson. Tempted by the poker action, he then weasels out, saying ‘the wife’ will give him a roasting if he lets us take his photo for nothing. Insulted by his vanity and greed, we clout him with the sign, and hightail it out of town.