As I write this, IE’s staff writer is off covering a poker tournament in Australia, the editor just got back from Monte Carlo and our publisher jets to Vegas more often than he goes to the khazi. Whereas, yours truly? I’ve just spent the afternoon at Totesport, Elephant and Castle, south London. And you know what? I wouldn’t have swapped it for the world.

A session at the Elephant bookies, for me, is the best fun you can have without getting your kecks off. Just as well, really, as there are no women in there at all. Not one.