American Football combines the very worst features of American life – frantic violence punctuated by committee meetings. It’s practically unwatchable, except for the 140 million in the States and the 850 million worldwide who watch the Super Bowl every year. That’s a hell of a lot of halfwits.

I’ll come clean – American Football is not my game. Until a week ago I thought a quarterback was a refund. So I more than anyone had to watch Beyond The NFL(Sky One) for a crash course. Big mistake.

The pairing as presenters of former England rugby captain Martin Johnson and Manchester City goalkeeper David James must have seemed a good idea in early planning meetings but it quickly became apparent that Johnson and James had all the chemistry of a stink bomb.